Oh that pull.
That attachment.
That magnetism.
That attraction.
To what’s ultimately not good for us.
“Not good for us” meaning:
It’s not reciprocal.
There’s chemistry but not compatibility (although we don’t want to admit that).
They’re open then closed, while you’re just open.
You try to rescue them, lack boundaries, then end up over giving and resentful.
You assume the best to a fault while ignoring red flags / reality.
Not good for us meaning you’re obsessed, distracted, overthinking, doubting yourself, spending all of this time and effort, bending over backwards to make something work that’s not working…
Ok, ok, that’s not fair, it works sometimes…
That’s what pulls you back in.
It’s like it’s so close, right there in front of you.
Clear glimpses.
You see who they really are.
Their potential.
That carrot, dangling on a stick.
Teasing.
Taunting.
Luring.
Wow.
You see them.
You feel them.
But they don’t feel their feelings, feel themselves, like you do.
How could they not?
Isn’t it obvious?
Feels like love.
But it’s not really.
Is it?
Well maybe it’s a form of love.
It’s got the bells and whistles, all the fancy accoutrements of love, the trappings…
Like literal trappings.
They bring out the claws in you.
The needy claws.
The loving claws of attachment.
The ones that want to latch on and never let go.
They are THE one aren’t they?
Worth waiting for?
Worth being patient with?
The chemicals in your brain say yes.
They are that which will satisfy and satiate that profound, way deep down, craving to be met.
Met where you are.
Met in all of your desires.
Click.
At long last.
And they do.
Here and there.
Then not…
They’re sooo there, but not at the same time.
And that’s confusing.
These people help us to look for love in the right place.
As we all eventually…
Painfully…
Learn.
They are indeed a gift, but not one that we will keep.
They are meant to help us choose ourselves.
The hardest of tasks for some.
Because, at a certain point, staying is self-emotional-abuse.
Because staying means abandoning yourself.
And eventually that’s just too painful.
When the pain of self-abandonment finally becomes more painful than the pain of leaving, that’s when you leave.
Your decision, while hard, also becomes easy because it's so clear.
It's clear that you deserve ____________________________________________.
That's unique for each of us, and up to each of us to discover for ourselves.